Hello. There is no "she," really, unless you count a book as a she. I mean, the main character is a girl, so that works, except that it means I'm being driven mad by a fictional character.
The point being that my calm is rapidly rupturing.
I'm reading a book called "Adora." Here is a review. Go read it. I'll wait.
Okay, now you're probably asking, "WHY, IN THE NAME OF EVERYTHING, WOULD YOU READ A BOOK THAT GOT THAT REVIEW?!" To which I say, "You forgot to turn CapsLock off."
Also, because I have a secret weakness. I adore (HA IT'S A PUN) bad books and movies. Once it crosses the entertainment spectrum from Good to Terrible and just keeps going until it arrives back at - if not Good - Entertaining, I MUST HAVE IT. Well, experience it. I wouldn't pay money for it. And luckily for me, The Snark has the same weakness.
She also has more money than I do.
So we decided to challenge ourselves. She bought four of the absolute worst romance novels we could find.
I finished reading Decadent last week and it was HILARIOUS. Read the review on SmartBitches. The book is even funnier. I think the best analogy I could figure for it was a re-imagining of this classic Reese's Cups commercial:
[Both walk along, reading books. They turn the corner and bump into one another. The books go flying and the pages get mixed up.]
Man: (angrily) You got plot in my porn!
Woman: (also angrily) You got porn in my plot!
Both: (reading) Euuugh. (Making disgusted faces.)
SO... yeah. That happened.
Now I'm reading Adora. And this book is infuriating. If you read the review, you'll get an idea why, but here's what really actually made me mad: this book glorifies rape. The first sex scene that isn't rape is halfway through the book. The only man who doesn't rape her every time they have sex gets killed. Her "true love" rapes her, then buys her as a slave, then rapes her again. And she still loves him. Love being in giant quotation marks here.
habsahsoej isdjhahashdsajfkg sda;ajkfapegjjgjsdfl;a dw ARRRGH
So anyway, page 253, I give up. This is the first book I've started that I literally could not finish (except for The Fellowship of the Ring and seriously, I was ten when I tried to read it, so lay off).
Now onto reading Pregnesia!